As a coach, I found it very easy to be critical of referee decisions. As a referee, I realized that making referee decisions wasn’t that easy. A referee’s job was not to see and punish every rule violation; it was to keep the game flowing smoothly in a safe and fair manner. Every rule had its exception. In soccer, if the violation didn’t interfere with the flow of the game it was okay to let the game continue. You could simply yell, “Play on.” That way players and spectators would know that you didn’t miss the violation. Instead you chose to let the game continue.

The trouble, however, was that many inexperience referees used the exception rule to avoid making the tough calls when the action became intense. In essence they would lose control of the game. Instead they would attempt to establish their control of the game by making the easy calls. The easiest call in soccer is the throw-in violation. To throw the ball in after it went out-of-bounds, the player had to keep both feet on the ground. If one foot left the ground a foul was called and the ball was given to the other team. It was a very easy violation to see and call, much easier to see and call than the pushing and shoving in the middle of the field. Truth-be-told, there is very little advantage during a throw-in. Most throw-ins end up going the other team anyway, whether the foot comes up or not. Therefore, the referee that was very strict with the throw-in violation and not with the pushing and shoving in the middle of the field was not the better referee. He or she was merely making the easy decisions.

Being a leader is very similar to being a referee. You can’t just keep making the easy decisions. To be considered one of the better leaders, you must be willing to make the difficult decisions and take control the game where it really matters.