In a conversation do you ever find that you didn’t hear the speaker’s point and had to ask them to repeat what they’ve just said? It happens all the time. Worse yet, you cared little about the speaker’s point and jumped quickly to formulating your own points and anxiously waited for the first opportunity to share them. The results, I suspect, frustrated the person you’re conversing with and eventually left you with no one to talk to. If you want to be a good conversationalist, you need to learn to stay focused in the moment.

Conversations are much more rewarding when the person you’re speaking to takes an interest in what you have to say and tries to understand where you are coming from. From the other side, when you show interest in fully understanding the speaker’s point of view by focusing your comments and questions on them, the speaker remains engaged and the conversation becomes richer. More importantly, people will want to talk with you. You do this by staying focused in the moment.

As a leader, you will get more opportunities to lead when you invest in those you want to lead. Spending more time listening and understanding will convince the speaker that you are sincerely interested in their well-being and they will be more likely to trust your leadership. Therefore, if you want to enhance your leadership effectiveness, learn to stay focused in the moment: Their moment.